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I make my living off the evening news

Just give me something, something I can use

People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry


Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here

I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear

Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry


Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around


We got the bubbleheaded bleach-blonde, comes on at 5

She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye

It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry


Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?

You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet

Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry


You don't really need to find out what's going on

You don't really want to know just how far it's gone

Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry


Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around


Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies

We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie

Love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry


We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing

When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing

We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry

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