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I've got a fanzine
So I should know everything about every band
I turned punk 2 years ago
I tell my subjects, I'm D.I.Y.
I'll call your band a sellout
I'll tell convienient lies

I've got a lot of staples
and too much time to trash a band
Oh they fucking blow!
since I wasn't on the guestlist
I didn't make the show
No major labels, they really suck!
Except for Bad Religion
Can't get their sticker off my truck
Got my own agenda
I write the rules

*Drum Solo*

I'll use my moms cash
Nobody knows
You calling me a liar
Yeah, My story has some holes
Start a label, rip off the bands
I'll liberate the punk scene
All part of my master plan

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Would you ever sign to a major? If it upsets you!
Who are your main influence? Why should that mean shit to you?
Are you sexist? No.
Vegan? No.
Gay? I have sex with women you fucking faggit!
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If it's in my zine
It must be true
Who told you iIm always crying
Just because I'm getting sued
That guys' an asshole
That bands' on ludes
I guess my little fanzine
is like the Weekly World News

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Would you ever sellout? Whatcha got?
Would you consider yourself "Hardcore"? No, I'm albacore!
Do you prefer firm... What kinda fucking questions are these you idiot?!
Where's Mark?
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